I was 40 when I was diagnosed. I have 3 daughters, 15, 9, and 5. I completed chemo 11/2/20, had a mastectomy 12/2/20, and the completed radiation mid February…my radiation was not breast, it was pelvic radiation.
Name: Becki Johnson
Type/Stage of Cancer: Triple Negative Breast Cancer, Stage 2
Diagnosed: April 2020
Age of Children When Diagnosed: 14, 8, 4
Take me back and tell me about the day when you were told “you have cancer”.
It was late in the afternoon. The nurse practitioner called me. It had taken 10 days to get my results and I had already had a bad feeling that it might be cancer. She made small talk which made me wonder even more. She said the words I’ll never forget “it’s cancer”. She went on to explain that depending on the type, that would determine my treatment plan. I had no clue there were types of breast cancer. I always thought breast cancer was breast cancer. I had never heard of triple negative before. It pretty much was overwhelming from there because all this information is being thrown at you and you are still trying to process that you have cancer.
Tell me, how many doctors did you meet with before you decided on your medical team and treatment plan? Did you get the same opinion for your treatment plan or were there conflicting plans? This is often the hardest part, the beginning. What were the key factors in your final selection?
I had recently moved to this area and so I had to ask a new friend for a recommendation for a doctor. I went to her and she didn’t think the lump was anything but she still ordered a mammogram and ultrasound to be cautious. When I received those results, they said that i had a 2 cm mass but that it just needed to be rechecked in 6 months. The letter went on to say that I had dense breast tissue and that makes cancer hard to detect. So I called the doctor’s office and asked why I would wait 6 months if I have dense tissue. Thankfully the nurse agreed and gave me the name of a surgeon to go to. I will forever be thankful to that nurse who validated my concerns. If she had not, I might not have pushed any more. Once I went to her and had my biopsy, I didn’t go to any other doctor, only the oncologist that she recommended. I did ask around about her and heard nothing but good things! I was very thankful that I had been given her name. My surgeon and my oncologist both agreed on the type of treatment that I needed. I also have a good friend who is an oncologist nurse and I spoke with her and she said their treatment plan was the common one. I really didn’t have any doubts with my team and I’m thankful for that.
What are the most surprising lessons have you learned from your journey?
One big thing I have learned is that when somebody is going through a trial that you don’t tell them to “let you know if they help or need something”. When you are going through a trial, you need help. So, think of something you can do and just do it!
Also, if something doesn’t seem right with what you are being told, push! If I had not pushed about seeing another doctor, I have no doubt that I would have been in a later stage when I finally did get a diagnosis.
I’m sure readers would want to understand how other moms are approaching telling their children, as it’s different for every family and various ages. How did you approach this delicate conversation and is there any advice for other moms you can share?
We were very straightforward with our girls. We explained that I was sick. We told them it was cancer and that I would have to have very strong medicine to help me get better. We also told them that they could ask any questions that they wanted to.
How do you balance work, family and treatment?
I am so blessed with an amazing support system. I do not work. I stay home with our children because they are homeschooled. That was a big concern. I did not want them to fall behind because of my treatments. My treatment center is 2 hours from my house. So I knew on my treatment days that my husband and I would be gone all day. But my mom and my mother in law took turns coming for each of my treatments and would stay with my girls. I also have a very supportive husband and he would work from home when I need him to.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
To give myself grace. It’s been hard to admit that I need help. Or to watch my husband have to balance work and come home and do laundry and cook and clean! But i know that it is necessary for me to rest to recover.
Also that it’s ok to not be ok! Besides cancer this year, my husband has lost 3 relatives very unexpectedly, one of which was his dad. And just 2 months later, my dad passed away. It has been a hard, hard year. And sometimes, we just need to acknowledge that things aren’t ok but know that they will get better.
Who are your biggest influences? Who do you admire the most?
My husband has been so influential in this journey. When we got married 18 years ago and we vowed to stay in sickness and health, I never would have guessed that he would be caring for me. He has never made me feel like I have to get things done around the house. If I asked for help, he did it. He went to every single appointment with me. Thankfully, my treatment center did allow you to have 1 visitor during treatments and he was there for every one of them. I’m just so very thankful for his love and support.
What do you want your legacy to be?
I want my family to know how much I love them. I want them to know that God is good no matter what and that they can trust Him because he has been faithful.
What do the words, “Beautiful Struggle”, mean to you?
Struggles are so difficult but when we look back at our trials, there are lessons that we can learn. We can look for others that are going through what we did and since you’ve been through it, you can help and encourage them.
It’s a beautiful thing to be able to go through a trial and come out the other side a different, stronger, better person.