I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004 at 46 yrs old. My children were 10 & 12 yrs old. I had a left mastectomy & 4 months of chemo. In 2005 I tested positive for the BRCA2 gene. I then had a right mastectomy & full hysterectomy.
Name: Jacqueline S.
Type/Stage of Cancer: Breast Cancer, stage 2
Diagnosed: 2004
Age of Children When Diagnosed: 10 and 12
1. Take me back and tell me about the day when you were told “you have cancer”.
On July 11th 2004 while showering, I found a lump in my left breast. I knew immediately I had cancer. I told my husband, whose mother had died from breast cancer. It was a Saturday and we couldn’t call a doctor till Monday, so it was a difficult weekend.
2. Tell me, how many doctors did you meet with before you decided on your medical team and treatment plan? Did you get the same opinion for your treatment plan or were there conflicting plans? This is often the hardest part, the beginning. What were the key factors in your final selection?
On Monday I went to my primary care doctor, who immediately sent me to a radiologist for a sonogram. From there he told me it didn’t look good & said I needed a breast surgeon immediately. The 1st breast surgeon suggested a lumpectomy, radiation & chemo. The 2nd breast surgeon suggested a mastectomy. I chose the 2nd breast surgeon after checking both their credentials out. After a biopsy & MRI I was told that it was definitely malignant & they thought I was in stage 1. I chose a radial left mastectomy.
After surgery I was told it spread to my lymph nodes, thankfully only 1. That’s what put me in stage 2. I didn’t need radiation but went through 4 months of chemo. After, I was put on Tamoxifen. In 2005 I decided to go for genetic testing & learned I was positive for the BRAC2 gene. So that year I had a simple right mastectomy & a full hysterectomy.
3. What are the most surprising lessons you have learned from your journey?
People tell me I was so strong & handled everything so well, but I think I just did what I had to do to survive. I wanted to survive for my children 1st, then my husband & myself. I learned how important life is, I learned who my true friends are, and sadly I lost some. I learned that life can be too short to let things bother you. I learned to just be happy.
Life is not waiting for the storm to pass.
It´s about learning to dance in the rain.
~ Vivian Greene ~
4. I’m sure readers would want to understand how other moms are approaching telling their children, as it’s different for every family and various ages. How did you approach this delicate conversation and is there any advice for other moms you can share?
We had to put our dog down a month before I found out I had cancer. The dog had cancer so it was very difficult telling our children I had cancer. It was summer, they were home from school so they saw how much I was going to the doctor. Children are smart, they came to me & ask what was wrong & don’t lie to us, so I told them the truth. I did stress that I wasn’t going to die like our dog did. We all cried but they handled it well.
5. How do you balance work, family and treatment?
I wasn’t working but I scheduled my chemo treatments on Fridays. My husband would be home all weekend while. My husband is an angel & took care of the house, the kids & cooking. I couldn’t have done it without him & the kids had no problem chipping in with
household chores.
6. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
I’m not sure I can pinpoint one thing. Breast cancer wasn’t outwardly discussed as freely as it is now. I wish it had been, that’s why I’m so willing to talk to anyone about it now. I had so few people to discuss things with back then.
7. Who are your biggest influences? Who do you admire the most?
I admire everyone who has had or has breast cancer. We are all to be admired for the fight we go through.
8. What do you want your legacy to be?
I don’t want breast cancer to be the thing I’m remembered for. That’s only a small part of who I am. I want my children to remember me as just their wonderful mother who gave them the best I could. And my husband to remember our undying love for eachother & the wonderful life we have.
9. What do the words, “Beautiful Struggle”, mean to you?
Cancer is definitely a struggle & we are all beautiful. So i guess our journey through this difficult part of our lives is a beautiful struggle.